BYOH: Build Your Own Happiness or How to hack your own happiness buttons.
Today: Don’t worry about about what others think of you.
For a long time, from birth, until about seven years ago (around the end of my first marriage), I used to worry, profusely, about what others thought.
I worried about how to dress, how to behave in certain circles, and whether or not I was attractive to males and worrying about why certain females didn’t like me.
I did a lot of foolish things, trying to fit in and make people like me, or at least, to get them to stop trying to harm me.
It wasn’t until my divorce, and I noticed people taking sides, despite knowing me for years, and yet, never bothering to ask me what my side of the story was, that I realized that people are going to think what they want about you, even despite compelling evidence that contradicts what they believe.
It was then, when I stopped caring what people thought about me, and I’ve been happier for it.
I stopped worrying about the (so-called) friends I lost when I stopped hosting karaoke shows. I lost friends when I no longer had money to spend on going out every weekend. I lost friends when I picked up crochet as a business hobby. I lost friends when I decided to go work for my current employer. I lost friends when I stopped trying to date the males they were trying to set me up with. I pretty much lost all of my pre-divorce friends.
At first, it hurt. It hurt a lot. Then, it occurred to me that none of those people were my friends, at all. Not even the ones whom I stood by through thick and thin, including court cases and broken hearts and empty pocketbooks.
I made some new friends, but I keep my circle very tight now. I do what I want and wear what I want, even if other people don’t think it’s cool or fashionable. I act like myself, even if the people around me are playing cold or hardened; even as they mock me for being too soft or too nice.
I enjoy my life more, because I worry, not one bit, about whether or not people support my ideas or my dreams or my issues. I’ve gotten this far, sorting my own life out; I think I do alright.
I’m teaching my children to be more like the person that I wish my parents had molded. I don’t want them to be puppets to people who will later prove to be disloyal because they don’t act like them, dress like them, talk like them, or walk like them. I’m trying to teach them to respect everybody’s path, but take joy in walking their own.
I’m over the hill, at this point in my life, but I’m not ashamed to admit that I finally learned to indulge in pressing, constantly, the happiness button that reminds me to like myself, despite what others think of me. I don’t think it’s ever too late to learn to love yourself and let the haters be damned.
Feel free, to visit my Facebook page and tell me what kind of things that you do to push your own happiness buttons or drop a line in the comments section. I would really love to hear from you.