Sometimes, I am so indecisive.
Sure, I have my regular routine and my regular diet that I rarely stray from because it’s easier to get through every day planning the same breakfast, the same lunch, the same dinners.
But, sometimes, choices do need to be made and I get stumped. For instance, going out to a new restaurant and coming into contact with foods that I love but don’t usually have access to. I want to be spontaneous, but do I want the chicken or the steak? The cake or the pie? The coffee or the tea?
Often, when I am at work, customers come up and offer to get me something when they leave the premises and plan to return. I never know what to say, even if they tell me where they are going. What kind of soda do I want? Do I want fries with that? What kind of new coffee is at Starbucks, anyway?
So many decisions!
I experience the same thing on a daily basis when trying to decide which outfit to wear, which hat to accompany it. I have established a system to help limit my choices. For instance, I have the days of the month broken down into a color-code system so that I know on a certain day, such as the 12th of the month, I’m going to be wearing something with the color yellow. Of course, then I have to limit my choices based on what the weather is doing and how warm or cold it will be at work or some other destination.
Then, I have to decide on how to style my hair. I prefer to wear it up, but depending on the hat, I can’t always do that, so that I still have to decide what my mood is and how I wish to wear my hair down. A low ponytail, a twist, just trailing down my back, in a headband, in a scarf, or a low braid?
I try to make these decisions, at least, a day in advance, but being indecisive, sometimes I change my mind as I a preparing to get my day going and then I have to rush to make up my mind, again.
My friends and family tease me because I have to be so organized. As you can see, if I do not plan ahead, I’m a mess. I would rather be mocked for being too organized than be teased for not being able to make an on-the-spot decision.
This negates me being able to be spontaneous. I am not a big fan of surprises, at all, unless the surprise is something that someone knows that I would pick for myself. For instance, a coworker brings me iced coffee every once in awhile and I am always pleased with that surprise. But, sometimes, my partner thinks that I’d like to try some new flavor of pretzel chips or chocolate and I’m disappointed. So, I’d rather people ask me what I want so that I can give them a general idea of what I want rather than they surprise me with something that they thing I will want. They mean well and I am usually gracious about surprises, but honestly, deep down, I’m like the kid who’s disappointed that he’s gotten another ugly sweater from grandma.
On the other hand, I’m glad that I am indecisive. It makes me more open to suggestions and new ideas if there is something that I have never tried but would like to. For instance, recently I’ve had the opportunity to try fish tacos and chili-flavored M&Ms, and crumpets and thoroughly enjoyed them all.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to be as organized as I can, even if it means going through my day by rote. Those days are full of fewer negative surprises of any kind. When negative things do happen, and they sometimes will, I rely on my routines and regular choices to make those days feel a little less chaotic and out of control.
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