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An enabler is someone who can do something about helping you deal with a toxic bully or group, but they turn a blind eye to your cries for help or proof of the bully’s toxic behavior. Enablers may also have a tendency to do things that may have the effect of rewarding the bully, or punishing the person being bullied. In the workplace, an enabler will likely be your boss or someone in HR who can take steps to keep you from being bullied, but they either put your concerns on the back burner, hoping they will resolve themselves, or they force you into an awkward situation with your bully in hopes that you both will resolve your difference or one of you will quit, allowing the enabler to keep their own hands clean.

Baiting is a favorite tactic of bullies and toxic individuals. It’s one way that they get to play the victim, while making you look like the problem. They provoke you (lure you) through “joking around” or bullying , in hopes of getting you to react. If you react, in an emotional manner, they will use that to show everyone else that the problem is you and not them.